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Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, mirror, who is the fairest of them all? I’ve often dreamed of ways to shift the Disney Theme to one of more Empowerment, especially for women. When I saw the movie Frozen, I became inspired that there is a market for inspiration through empowerment for children. When I take this idea a step further, I realize that our children model what their parents do more than what they say. An empowering way to teach and lead the next generation is to show them by living a purposeful and joyful life. Our programs are created to teach you ways to discover and/or Cultivate Your Best You!

What if we own our own power, by recognizing what we see in others as a direct reflection of who we are? Then our thinking naturally shifts! The good and the bad we see in others shows us where we are in our personal growth. Finding a space of grace in this concept leads us to a more joyous existence.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to judge and criticize - ourselves and others? What we see in others can irritate us and sometimes infuriate us. Why, we ask? When we take other peoples actions or comments personally, trouble begins. Our programs encourage you to begin to look within to find more neutral reactions when in difficult situations. Leverage your strengths to find more joy in your every day life.

Don Miguel Ruiz puts it simply in his book, The Four Agreements. His advice:

"Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality…."

When we struggle with this basic truth, coaching is a good place to start shifting our outlook and focus inward on what we want or what needs attention.

Here's a bit of news for you: when we judge and criticize, we are projecting too. That's right, the fault we see in others are perceptions of our own faults. If we didn't have it, we couldn't see it in others. This isn't a new philosophy, but it is a sound one. The next time you find fault, look inside and acknowledge that the trait is yours - or was. Sometimes we see things that we have modified in ourselves but may still be sensitive to. But own it and realize that you don't like it in yourself.

When we react negatively to the behavior of others, there seems to be three possible reasons:

  1. A projection of our own behaviors that we don't like.

  2. We have already modified that behavior in ourselves and believe others could and should do the same.

  3. We need to add more of that behavior to our repertoire.

Acknowledgement of our perceived faults is the first step toward a positive experience. We all know we can't change others, but we can change ourselves. It is futile to beat up on ourselves for our shortcomings, so what can we do? We can use our strengths. Our coaching techniques will teach you how to utilize your strengths to compensate for what you don't admire in yourself or others. Use your strengths to help you find a way to compensate in a constructive way and be committed to working on yourself.

Kindness begins within yourself. Once you stop criticizing yourself, it will become much easier to stop criticizing others.

Let's move on to another skill for relationships: what happens when we see the best in each other? In researching long-lasting happy relationships, the researchers found some interesting correlations. A significant one was that the people in the relationships saw each other through their strengths. Sometimes the mates saw their mate in a more positive light than they even saw themselves. Isn't that a wonder! A wonderful wonder. I'm fond of an American Indian saying, "I salute the highest in you!"

As we strive to improve the highest in ourselves and we seek to see the highest in others, we are focusing on strengths and positive aspects of our life. Even if it doesn't improve the relationship, it will definitely improve our day!


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